Quito:

Quito is not your everyday destination. It's edgy, scary and a tiny bit dangerous because of the constant threat of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions (Quito is located at the base of an active volcano). On the other hand, Quito is fresh, exciting, foreign and beautiful, making Quito a perfect junket for the adventurous American tourist. The trick is to see the sites of Quito without getting hurt or robbed.

Remember, Ecuador has a average income of only about $5 per day, and a visit to Quito transports you into a world where you are a relative-multimillionaire, a tycoon with mucho spending power who can live like a King in Quito.

The Two Prostitutes Of Tena

Tena is the whitewater capital of Ecuador. Before I bent over some Class IV rapids on the Jondachi River with my monstrous rowing stroke, I studied the townspeople by watching them from a park bench in the central square.

Within half an hour, two random girls sat on my bench even though all the others were empty. The alpha of the pair sat next to me and kept “accidentally” touching my leg and whipping her hair back and forth in dramatic motions. The giveaway was that it was 1PM and they were dressed like they were going to the club.

A bourgeoisie Frenchman I met told me he doesn’t get involved with locals from countries that are not equal to his own (i.e. Westernized); otherwise the girls are just seeing dollar signs and there is a good chance of getting drugged and / or robbed. I do agree with him, and it’s not a big deal in Ecuador because the girls here are extremely ugly, but it would be a shame if you travel through Brazil or Argentina and resign yourself to only sleeping with other tourists.